This one be long, sorry, get ready (6/1/20)

Alright. Back to the monotone boringness. Not really. I just have no idea how to start writing this week. I could start off like a pastor here, GOOD MORNIN MY BROTHAS AND SISTAS IN THE LORD, TODAY IS A BLESSED DAY, CAN I GET AN AMEN? HOW ABOUT A HALIELEUIJAH? I probably shouldn't say that. Also have no idea how to spell ha-lae-lou-yah. Such a big word. It's like the boogeyman. OK here we go.

Last Monday, P-Day, the big spooders, remember? Disgusting. The rest of the day was us going next door to the elders there and hanging out because they had some ingredients to make burritos. And the sisters came and dropped off the institute key so what do you do if you're me? You ask if they want a burrito, and they say, wellllllllllllllllllllll, yeah we'll take one. Felt like chef boy are D making it because, yeah.

Anyway, after that we have Tuesday, interesting day. A member came over and brought us a huge dinner. They were so cool. They were so cool, in fact, that I don't remember their names haha. [They were the Wahlquists. She was so kind to text pictures and a nice note to me!] But literally the back of their car was filled with food. She made 2 pans of some stuff, a pan of brownies, a cooler of drinks, ice cream, chips, dip, and a ton of cheese (that's a must). Realized that I have been out for 8 months now. I keep telling everybody 6. Oops. My companion, Elder Kemp, actually went into the Provo MTC a week after I went to the Brazil MTC. Pretty easy to keep track of time when your comp does it for you heh. There's also a thing here in the South called banana pudding. Pretty self explanatory. You put whipped cream and those little nilla wafers on it and it's so good. The wafers get real soggy, but I guess that's how it's supposed to be eaten? It's good though. If you're a texture person and can't eat weird-feeling foods, this ain't it for ya, brother. We gave a member a few copies of the Book of Mormon because when he sells security he eventually talks about religion because that's a common thing for many people here and just gives them a Book of Mormon. Way cool. I also got a haircut today. Pretty professional. An elder in the other district has hair clippers. I was his 8th haircuttee. Nice. We also did a splits or comp exchange with the elders next door. I had to travel pretty far for that one. All of a whopping .3 seconds? If you walk slow it'll be a good .7 seconds.

On Wednesday, we finished up splits, and I got a cute little cactus pen. We had zone conference today. We ate some leftover food a different member brought us. It did not keep well, and I ate like 10 bites and was like nah brother. There's a picture of the First Presidency of the Church on our wall and I was looking at it and then I saw their hands. President Nelson has impressively young looking hands. I actually have no idea how hands are supposed to look after the age of 50; it's just not a feature you notice in a person until you either hold a hand, shake a hand, or, well, stare at a picture of hands because you are so bored. heh. This quarantine is really gettin' to us.

Thursday was interesting. My thumb just started dying for literally no reason. Like I'm just sitting there going through the Facebook page--THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST IN TALLAHASSEE, check it out--and my thumb just stops working. And I'm like, what you doin'? The rest of the day it just didn't work--couldn't use a fork, a spoon, nothin. I/we finally made some goals. I have them written down above my study desk, but I guess they weren't super memorable because I don't remember them right now. oops. That's why I wrote them down. We did some service for a member today in their backyard. Florida has a mixture of literally every spider known to man. I saw one that was multiple colored and another that was just all black. They are literally everywhere in the woods. We have a group chat with the whole zone and we were talking about businesses that Jar Jar Binks could start. For example: Jar Jar Blinks, eye doctor. Messas pizzas. Car Car Binks. Har Har Binks, comedy show. Star Star Winks, mattress company. You get the point. We had the zone leaders wheezing. I have a video of it, but I dunno if I can send it. I was trying to write in my journal, and it literally looks like a 5 year old trying to be ambidextrous. Took some Nyquil because I was coughing like a smoker. Did me well. Nyquil will fix everything. You have corona, Nyquil. But if you're trying to sleep on a tile floor in Brazil and haven't slept very well for the past week, DO NOT TAKE NYQUIL. You just get super super nauseous. Wouldn't recommend it.

Ok so, Friday now. We did a splits or trade off with the elders behind us today, and he turned the a/c wayyy down. This Brazil boy don't like no cold air comin' out of the floor. I literally froze to death. I made a few trips outside to feel the sun because I forgot it existed because I was so cold. We got Chick Fil A, and I had to drive. Driving is easy when it's your car in your city and your streets and you've been there, you've lived there. Here it is not your car, not your city, not your streets, and you end up driving like a panicked grandma who is also distracted because she saw a nice loud V8 rippin' past, going over the speed limit. I am getting old. Asking what the speed limit is and not going over by a few. We gave a nice little message over Zoom to a member who brought us food I don't know when. Sometime this week. I think. I hope. Aight brothas and sistas in Christ, we're almost done.

Saturday. We texted a few people and one responded and then stopped responding when we brought up the gospel. This is when we tried to go to Walmart and there was a good 200 or so people in the street doing a 'peaceful protest.' I guess they had good intentions, but they were messing up traffic, the police were there directing everyone, then there was a car in the crowd, and there were angry people. Literally 1% of people ruin it for everyone. They were hitting the car, so the car drove away, through them. They are out here teaching cause and effect the hard way. You mess with the bull (car), you get the horns (run over). We got back home without buying paper towels (I know--super important reason to leave the house) and then we couldn't leave and the missionaries here couldn't leave, good fun. Literally we just went back to doing what we were already doing. So no big shocks and changes. I heard of more violence in other places so y'alls best be gettin' home and prayin', that's right brother, pray some prayers. Brings it into a perfect spiritual thought: when Christ comes again, there will be peace and happiness and calmness and rest. Some nice relaxation for a thousand years and lots of good things happening because Jesus will be here. So prepare sufficiently now. Because procrastination is of the devil. Don't do it tomorrow; do it now.

I love Sundays because we get to do the Sacrament. We got brownies. Some peanut butter brownies. I played a little bit of soccer by myself, got some sweat out of my body, drank some water. Y'all should do that right now. Drink some water. When was the last time you drank water? You can't prepare for Jesus coming if you ain't drinkin' no water! Dehydrated people are like dehydrated lettuce. Gross! Also you'll die if you don't drink water. That's about it. Jesus loves you, and because He loves you He wants you to drink water.